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July 13 Spare Rib Anyone?Our summer season is in full swing, unless you live in Wisconsin. During this time of year, our daytime temperatures here in the Ozarks usually hover near 100 degrees. I definitely can’t sneak around because it’s too hot for shoes and my flip-flops are always flip-floppin’. Summer time should be a time when we can shed some tension along with some of our clothes. When we experience a perfect summer day we can believe that everything is going to be alright. For me, early summer mornings are the best. A gentle cool breeze, birds singing, and a heavy dew on the grass that swirls a sweet fragrance around until is disappears with the rising sun. After our afternoon heat starts to subside early evening and sunset draws my eyes to the skies. Sometimes the clouds seem to outline a great big smile as God’s comfort signature of His amazing grace. Just this morning I kept my mind quiet, listened to my heart, and enjoyed watching-listening to a thunderstorm roll across our valley. Gemuetlichkeit Days “Gemuetlichkeit” is a German word which when translated on Google has a English definition of “comfort.” I’ll admit that once awhile on a really hot summer day I’ll get a craving and find refreshing comfort in an ice cold beer. Surely, that will tweak out some over zealous religious types over the topic of sipping saints. But let me assure everyone, I’m definitely not for drunkenness. Just a FYI, there are ministers and pastors in Europe who have their beer and wine with their meals. Martin Luther (initiated the Protestant reformation, teaching that salvation was a free gift of God received by grace through faith in his Son Jesus as the redeemer from sin. He showed in God’s Word that salvation is not through just good works or can be purchased with money), was married to Katie, who was not only a wife, a mother, an innkeeper, but also a brew master. Welcome to Wisconsin There’s a big difference between having a beverage and my former days of when I majored in beer drinking and minored in boilermakers (shot of whiskey served with a beer) in college at Eau Claire. Gemuetlickkeit Days were everyday because there were beer and shot specials seven days a week at the local taverns. State Street in “Eaux Claires” (meaning clear waters) for the Eau Claire River, was a part of town where drinking lots of beer (over-refreshed) is the norm. The more people surrounding each other drinking lots of beer will inevitably rouse up some German songs and the next thing you know you’re ready to march down the road to the next town and conquer their beer supply. You know, Brian “Kato” Kaelin (O.J. Simpson trial fame) always has looked kind of familiar to me. We must have stumbled into each other from time to time? Strangely enough he didn‘t graduate from UW@EC either. Probably had the same college major as me. Sometimes it’s good to be reminded where we have come from to reflect if we have matured. Happy Music… Polka Old-Time, Happy Music… Polka Old-Time, Goodtime, Happy Music… Polka Too Much Beer, Old Time, Goodtime, Happy Music…Mattress Polka Nope, don’t expect to rock out to Lynyrd Skynard’s “Free Bird” when you are drinking with a bunch of people wearing lederhosen. By the way, if any of us guys run into someone whose wearing super-short, super-tight, yellow lederhosen, and singing Shania Twain’s song “I Feel Like a Woman,” just kindly excuse yourself because Bruno has had too much to drink. David Letterman’s Top Ten Reasons to Go See Bruno
Question: How exactly would I pray for him if he wanted hands laid on him? Answer: Very appropriately, on top of his noggin’, and I would keep one eye (squinty) open to watch his own hands. "Spare rib anyone?" ~ Adam "Strong the sauce in this one truly is" ~ Yoda Some of us are all year round barbecuer’s. But summertime is really the perfect time to cook outdoors. Nothing like docking up to the Mothership Porkapalooza on a perfect summer evening. Sorry PETA no animal welfare around my barbie. Come to think of it, I’d be willing to bet that PETA people are pretty scarce in the grand old badger state (Wisconsin). You surely wouldn‘t want to say, “Venison is not an edible meat.” Those words will get your ass shot off, after it is first kicked. Green Grillin’ I for one also don’t want my alfresco lifestyle changed because someone thinks that there are astronomical effects due to grilling. Sure we should respect our planet, but lets get real along with some common sense, go over to China or India and monitor their manufacturing industry. They blow off at lot more smoke and pollutants than my smoker pit or anyone’s lawnmower too. In Arkansas a perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. I’m telling’ ya’ some people in these Ozarks need to have a mow-down show-down. I for one like a perfectly landscaped lawn. I guees you could call me the Turfinator, Mr. Mowjangles, or Weedy Gonzales. Taney County Lawn Mowers
Also, while I’ve been thinking about environmentalists. Some of you need to quit trying to live with the bears. Leave the bears alone. Eventually they want to UFC fight and they don’t understand a tap-out and that‘s not a pretty sight. Let them live in their own peace to poop in the woods with nobody watching. Geesh!!! They also don’t need someone to pull their paw when they have eaten too many berries. Question: What's white, furry, loves to dance, and wears lederhosen? Answer: A polka bear! That’s called a dorky Pastor joke right there. Around my house, I’ll think I would have to lock up any vegans to stifle their whining of what they can’t eat when I light up my barbecue. No veggie burgers on my grill. Throw on the steaks, pork ribs, and some brats along with some burgers too. After trashing vegans a little bit, surely Keith Olberman doesn’t read Blog Quest? I don’t want a medal for his daily “Worst Person in the World.” I sure hope Rush Limbaugh also doesn't show up at my door with the smell of food cooking? I have to admit, whiners and belly-achers sometimes cuts me to the core, tests my patience, and I have to fight the urge not to be a meanie. I’ll take a deep breath. Inhale…Exhale. OK…I’ll be nice and leave the eggs out of my potato salad recipe for you Vegans. Sometimes I wonder if I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)? I don’t use a cookbook don’t ya’ know because every one of the recipes in the book began the same way: “Take a clean dish...” Greg’s Ozark Country Potato Salad INGREDIENTS: 3 pounds of red potatoes cubed (boil for 15 minutes). Mix in a small bowl: 2 bunches of green onion, chopped. 4 stalks of celery, diced Mix in a small bowl: 1 small bottle of Kraft mayonnaise with olive oil. 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard. 2 tablespoons of sea salt. 1 tablespoon of black pepper. Rinse the potatoes in cold water and drain. and fold in both bowls of ingredients. Mix in a large bowl: Potatoes with both small bowls of ingredients. 3 eggs, sliced, placed on top (optional). Sprinkle 1 teaspoon paprika on top. Warning: You may have to put yourself on lockdown for periods of time from this bowl of goodness. There’s this lady from New York City, who decided to purchase a piece of timber land near Branson. She’s a vociferous anti-hunter and has been spotted hugging on and smooching her trees. On her property there is this one beautiful large tree that stands on one of the highest points in our area. One day she wanted to get an excellent view of the splendor of our Ozark Hills surrounding Table Rock Lake. So she started to climb this beautiful big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered one of our Bald Eagle’s and it tried to attack her. In her haste to escape, this lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her inner thighs and crotch. Of coarse she was in considerable pain and rushed herself to the nearest doctor. Interestingly, even in her tremendous pain from her injury she had to tell the doctor what an environmentalist and anti-hunter she was and how she came to get all these splinters. The doctor listened to her ramble on and on with great patience and then told her to go into an examining room and he would have to confer with others to see if he could help her. She sat and waited for over three hours before the doctor reappeared. The lady of coarse angrily demanded, “What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the U.S. Forest Service, the Bureau of Land Management, Missouri Department of Environmental Conservation, and the Missouri Corp of Engineers before I could remove any old-growth timber from a recreational area. I’m sorry, but they all turned me down." Don’t look at me like that and shake your head. I’m just repeating what the doctor said… By the way, did you know that in St. Croix, Wisconsin women are not allowed to wear anything red in public. There is a house in St Croix, Wisconsin They call the Rising Sun And it is been the ruin of many poor boy And God I know I’m not one - Organ Solo - Oh mother tell your children Not to do what some have done Spend your lives in sin and misery In the House of the Rising Sun Yes, I changed the name of the city (it was New Orleans) and a few words around in the lyrics of that old folk-rock hit (1964), “House of the Rising Sun” Amazing Grace Over the last few months I have been deciphering and meditating through the Book of Job at my Blog Pad. Have you ever noticed how when we patiently and openly spend time in different books of Bible the people become real. Just like we know them personally. Anyway, Job’s buddies were real religious finger pointing fuddy-duddies full of incorrect opinions. I’d be willing to bet that if they were living today they would have like a gazillion bumper stickers on the back of their car, wearing t-shirts saying your going to hell in a hand basket, President Obama is the anti-Christ, and God‘s judging America. Polar Opposites God and fun in life are not polar opposites. We need to be well aware that a religious posse is a lot different than a true blue Jesus posse. Today I read a quote by Bill Gates, “Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.” I couldn’t agree more. Why? Because he’s right about religion. There is a difference between knowing about God (religion) and knowing God (relationship). By the way Bill, “There are some excellent churches where God shows up. He’s the numero uno ‘Big Chip.’” Over the past few months my heart has been focused on the givers in this world and the takers in this world. It doesn’t matter whether you are a believer or not. There are plenty of “Christians” who only have interaction with God for themselves or for an insurance policy. “What’s in it for me, God? What can You do for me today? God, I‘ll only give if I am promised a return. God fix my problems I‘ve gotten myself into and I‘ll leave You alone.” Maturity spiritually is when we desire a relationship with Him because He is God . Lives change when our faith in Him, His will, and His feelings intersects with God’s faithfulness. I’m not just talking about us. More importantly lives change around us. As a believer, it is really easy to determine if we are having success or failure in life. All we have to do is look around, are people drawn to us or to God. We don’t have to carry the biggest Bible with the most translations, wear/show as many Christian icons on ourselves or our car, and especially not act like a window watcher with owl eyes (glare at someone) pointing out everybody’s sin. I encourage anyone, even tree huggers, Keith Olberman, and Bill Gates too (wink), to go meet God with a sincere heart at a sunrise or a sunset and He will reveal His amazing grace to you. His Grace meets us right where we are…Oh-Goy! (combination of good and joy) Coolrunnings...Greg “Grace comes into the soul, as the morning sun into the world; first a dawning, then a light; and at last the sun in his full and excellent brightness.” ~Thomas Adams
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